毕业后我将去哪里，好大一个世界何处是我的生存之地？如果有人给我指路那就太好了，可如今我们象只稚嫩的鸟儿离开了母亲的怀抱不知该飞向何方。当初的恢弘壮志如今离我越来越遥远，我怎么够都够不着它。我现在才意识到的翅膀是那么的软弱无力，曾经还自以为是的嘲笑人家，真是不知道天高地厚。不过不论时空怎样改变，我还是不会改变我做人的本性。希望我所有的大学同学毕业后都能找到适合自己的位子，各尽其能。

It's amazing to me how many people get up and go to work every day to an environment that makes them unhappy.

"My father and my grandfather before him worked here, so this is where I'm supposed to be." "I'm afraid if I leave, I won't get another job." "No one will hire me so this is what I have to do."

Last time I checked, life is supposed to be fun. It's filled with endless possibilities. This is America and we can do and be anything we want. Okay, that's a bit over the top, but it's not impossible to be happy at work. You can do it. It just takes a change in your perspective.

life is all about choice. We really do have a choice about how our lives are going at every moment. Often it just takes slowing down.

Here's a story about choice. A student went to live in a monastery. One of the rules of the monastery was that the students had to take a vow of silence to live there. But, once every ten years, the students were allowed to meet with the head monk and speak one sentence to him.

So the student of our story spends his first ten years in silence. The time comes to meet the head monk and say his one sentence. He goes to the monk and says, "The bed is hard." The monk smiles, and the student goes back to the monastery to study and pray.Ten more years go by. Again the student meets the monk and he says, "The food is lousy." The monk smiles, and the student returns to the monastery. Now it's thirty years later. Thirty years! The student meets with the monk and says, "I quit!" And the monk replies, "I'm not surprised. You've had a bad attitude since the first day you came here."

This story just goes to show that life is all about your point of view. The monk was just waiting for the student to quit, and the student was putting up with a less-than-ideal environment until he finally couldn't take it anymore.

How each of us feels and reacts throughout each day-throughout our entire lives, really-is what truly counts, not the story. Whining and moaning and groaning and being a victim is no fun for anyone to hear about. Are you the star in your own movie called life? Or are you the victim?

You can take turn your life around from dreading going to work every day to at least having it be more bearable; and eventually looking forward to getting up every day. I suggest four steps that form the acronym LARK: listen, ask, relax, kick.

L is for listen. Listen to what is coming out of your mouth during your day and what is said back to you. Are you or others around you using negative self talk, such as:

Mondays suck.

My nose is too big.

I never have enough money.

I deserve a raise.

That person is a pain in the neck.

I can never find a decent parking space.

I hate that driver in front of me.

Words really do have an effect on people. So does the feeling behind them. How many times have you smiled sweetly at someone as you said, "Of course I would be happy to do that for you," while secretly wishing they would trip on the carpet and break their arm as they walked across the room? Probably more times than you care to admit.

It takes some practice to really stop yourself from using negative words, so just try this in the beginning for one hour. Maybe write down every negative word or comment you say, and any that you hear. Look at the list at the end of the day. You might be surprised to discover how often people around you don't truly listen to what they are saying. The next day be more conscious about your choice of words and see what happens.

A is for ask for what you want. Too often we settle for less in our lives. Not only at work, but in our relationships with money, people, places and things. I find being willing to accept that we deserve whatever it is that we want to ask for is almost more painful than the asking. Many people have issues with self esteem. This holds people back for going for it in their lives. Fear of rejection is a common theme I've dealt with for years with people who've asked me advice on how to get that better paying job, or the new lover, or the money they want to take a vacation, or whatever. No matter what the desire might be, the key has always been not feeling deserving enough. Step out and ask. Every time you get a yes response, the next time will be easier.

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R is for relax. I'm talking to those who work too much or give too much of their time to others right now. When was the last time you took a day off? Or started a hobby? Or just sat in a bath tub and did nothing for an hour? Stay at Home moms and caregivers are the worst offenders at doing for everyone, and having nothing left for them. If you don't take care of you, you can't adequately take care of anyone else.

When you get on an airplane, the flight attendants always go through the routine of showing you where the exits are, etc. They also tell you in case of a loss in cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. They instruct those traveling with children to put the mask on first and then assist the child.

We all need to remember that we need to take care of ourselves first. Again, start small. Don't overpower your already engulfed world with a huge list of things you need to do to relax. That's not relaxing! Do something easy like taking a 30 minute walk. I recently started doing this every morning before having my Coffee, checking emails or reading the paper. This really energizes me and prepares me for my day.

Finally, the LARK ends with K for kindness; keep going; kick old habits, and keep laughing. Kindness is sometimes tough to find in the working world, especially if you work in a service industry, yet it's essential to your mental health and to the health of those around you. Instead of the old saying: "Kill them with kindness," I rather like, "Keep them alive with kindness." Try this turnabout on the old phrase and you'll find yourself starting to kick the old habits of putting yourself and others down with your words and actions.

If you truly love what you're doing, I believe the universe will bring to you people to share the laughter with. People will show up in your life to support you in kicking habits, if need be. I used to be terrible about doing some kind of daily exercise. I have a wonderful friend, Marcie, who lives on a golf course. Every night she walks around this course (the trail is about a mile long!), at dusk. If you've ever been on a golf course, you know that the surroundings are beautiful, with old trees, little ponds, and flowers everywhere.

Marcie has been my support in making sure I kick the habit of laziness and making me take that walk with her at least once a week. I highly encourage you to enlist people to help you in the areas that you need the most work. Actually, my walks with Marcie cover all the areas of this part of the LARK: I keep going, no matter what; kick the habit of being lazy; keep laughing as we talk on the walk; and I know I've been kind to myself by spending time with my friend and taking care of myself.

Try the LARK method and see how it works for you. You may end up the star in your own movie. In fact, I believe you already are the star. The question is this: is this a science fiction movie, action, adventure, romance or horror? You write the rules of your own life. It's up to you.

        When we create, we come alive; we’re making love to life. We use our unique talents, perception and skills and make the intangible tangible. Most of us generally know what we want in life. For every person, the answer to what brings us joy will be unique. For some it’s playing guitar or dancing. For others it’s writing, hiking, spending time with family, photography, or drawing.

So if we know what makes us feel alive, why do we resist it? Why do we avoid doing what we love to do?

I think there’s a number of reasons that can help us explain this elusive phenomenon. Hopefully in discovering the blocks toward pursuing what is dearest to us, we can overcome them.

So why do we resist?

1. The inability to accept imperfections. Do you think that Mona Lisa was Da Vinci’s first painting? We think, if it’s not perfect, why bother? But when we pursue the creative act, it’s crucial that we suspend judgment. After all, you can always cull the fluff and ridiculous later.

What to do instead? Resist your temptation to have everything figured out before you start. Failure is fundamental to the creative process. If you don’t fail, you’ll never improve. Suspend your judgment and remember that whatever you don’t like, you can always take out or re-do.

2. Not respecting the gestation of improvement. Say you have a passion for dancing. The only problem is, you’d make a blind man cry. Remember that mastery of any art or skill takes time. No one starts out being a natural Michael Jackson. And anyway, look what fame did to him. Are you sure you want that?

What’s a poor Napoleon Dynamite to do? Respect the fact that mastering any skill takes time. Instead of thinking about all the things that aren’t right, think about what you can do now to improve.

3. Not accepting your creative identity. All great artists, poets, musicians and creators, excelled by accepting their artistic identity. The truth is, we are all artists. We’re creating the story of our life in each moment. We’re not just humans living, we’re artists shaping a story. Accepting your identity as an artist is accepting your creative nature.

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So how can we gain the confidence to accept out creative identity? The biggest block toward your acceptance of your creative nature is probably due to self-judgment. How can you possibly accept that you are a writer when you haven’t hit the bestseller list? While external affirmations are important, the approval of your heart is equally important. If you feel in your heart that you are born to be an athlete, but don’t have Magic Johnson’s skills, that’s okay. What matters is that you feel deeply in your heart that is what you want. It makes you come alive.

4. We’ve turned our passion into work. Anytime you feel that you must do something, you lose inspiration. You lose your sense of excitement. In our society and in general, we have a clearly separate work and play. “Work hard, play hard!” is a common motto people tell others to make them feel a little better about their drudgery. We don’t have to dread work, it’s a choice. That’s the problem when our passion has also become our work. We tend to think it’s our passion has become something we must do. There’s no fun in that.

What can we do to re-ignite our passion? We need to get our heart back in it. Spend 15 minutes just visualizing what you want to create. Think about how it makes you feel. How does it make your body feel? What excites you about it? Think about all the reasons you wanted to do it in the first place. If you feel the urge to start working on it, hold yourself back until the 15 minutes are over.

This a great tool for realigning yourself and remember the reason you started in the first place. Sometimes our mind tends to overpower the heart. It’s our logical faculty after all right? Using this exercise helps us re-align ourselves.

Lost in Space

The truth is, we’re often the most productive when what we’re doing has absolutely no purpose. We come alive when we’ve lost track of time, doing what we love.

Perhaps its not our weakness, but our greatness that we fear the most.

Why Do We Avoid Doing What We Love?

               经过一番考虑,我决定放弃他.一个人连基本的自制力都没有何谈人类?一个人从来不去思考自己的人生而浑浑噩噩的走过了30 年,那么我不得不说他来到这个世上本身就是一个极大的错误.有的时候你不能不佩服上天开玩笑的能力.

       我想任何人都不会容忍自己的男朋友或老公在拥有自己的同时又和N个女的来往的,除非她自己本身在拥有男友或老公的同时又和N个男的交往.他们都是同一类人当然不会嫌弃别人那样做,除非他是个变态狂.当今社会是个开放的社会以至于连抱在自己怀里的孩子都不知道到底是谁的,甚是可笑吧!

       我没有博大的胸怀,我也没有开放的思想,所以纵然我喜欢某个人,若这个人旁边有N个女的环绕(这当然并不能推断出他很有魅力这一论点),我也会选择果断地离开.这当然并不是说我有多骄傲,我只是觉得我们不是同一世界的人,当然不会生活在同一屋檐下.既然我怎么都不能改变他,那么就只好让他放任自流了,他怎样潇洒快乐就让他怎样吧.

       但对我来说,我明明知道往前走一步我就会和他们一样快乐,可是我还是控制住了自己.因为快乐是要付出代价的,你的青春,你的身体,还有你的心,都要给别人.这并不是说你付出了这些你有有了爱情的保险栓.你时时刻刻都有被甩的危险,所以相对来说你又活在恐惧当中,为什么要这样折磨自己呢?现在放弃了,只会痛苦一时,坚持下去痛苦一世.

    有时候我在想,他的心不在我这,我还有坚持下必要吗?

   如果每天都是无望的等待,倒不如断了算了.

    也许对别人来说多一个情人无所谓,对我来说,有了一个情人他的心就必须在我这.

    莫让他人把你的心掏空,你必须要有强大的意志力,我告诫自己.

       当他不再爱你了，请不要在他面前没出息地流泪！要知道，只有爱你的人才会打心眼里心疼，珍惜，呵护你。千万别忘了爱情的美只在相爱那时！一个主动离开你的人，别指望他和会真正关心，照顾，牵挂你，顶多是旁观者的同情和怜悯。你需要这个吗？如果不需要，那么就请骄矜的你，不要放弃本来属于自己的那份骄矜吧。

      当他不再爱你了，你的爱就是他的负担了。一句话，你不是他的宇宙中心了。既然天意如此，各自涌向各自的轨道吧。请不要计较自己的付出，也不要指望什么回报。爱着不爱自己的人本来便不该有回报的。别计较对与错，这样还可以给灵魂松松绑。

       当他不再爱你了，你和他一个向东一个向西，一个有心一个无意，背道而驰。也许，他也想努力和你保持步调一致，但是身心都不由己。其实爱一个人，对一个人好，根本不需要提醒和诘问，如同花儿开与不开，只能听凭自然不能人为造就。说穿了爱就是一种本能。对不起，就放他一马吧，他没有这样的本能了。

    当他不再爱你了，请千万别失去自信。其实，在时光匆匆的脚步里，我们寻寻觅觅期待已久的，就是一种感觉，于是年爱上爱情爱上他，但这并非因为他优秀。同样的道理，他不爱你了，也并不代表不优秀。优秀与否，从来就不是爱的理由。

         当他不再爱你了，请伸出手，微笑祝福他，爱过就不要说抱歉，爱过就要心存感激。不要把爱变成恨，爱是美好温暖的恨却是丑恶冰冷的。何必让生命中最美好的东西风化变质呢？分手，他失去的是一个爱他的人，擦肩而过的是真情，而你失去了一个不爱你的人，重新得到的是机会，想一想，没有什么不公平。

           当他不再爱你了，请闭上眼睛，拥抱一下回忆吧，悄悄的抚摩那些或明或暗或凋谢的温暖，轻轻地凝视那些或深或浅或凌乱的忧伤-----然后，让我们抬起头，深呼吸，举目眺望，看，蓝蓝白云之下，长长的生命路上，爱的锦绣繁花已遍开天涯，早有一朵开在了你必经的路旁向你招手致意，那就是你生生世世注定的缘分！

                                                                                                     ————《女子世界》

借鉴别人的话：当有人问你爱过几次，答案永远是两次，一次是你爱他 他不爱你 一次是他爱你 你不爱他。

                       爱你自己，同时不要被同一个人伤害两次。爱生活，不是因为自己处在象牙塔里才会这样说，

                   而是被别人伤害过多次还会这样说。

                          不要说男人没一个好东西这样的话，不然别人会误解你阅人无数。